Weeks have slipped past, and I have helped them to slip past me with great excuses, gastronomic excesses, grand lazy days and quick trips to here, there and no-where.
My morning routine is studded with a few gems which keep me going. I take a long walk to the golf course, feed the doggies, prepare breakfast, tidy my room and then, the laptop is booted for the day and I begin an hour of surfing, reading blogs, checking the weather ( winter was a clear winner till yesterday) and getting the background music to match the day and mood.
This blog page has been waiting patiently on Google Chrome. Waiting for me to open the page, roll up my sleeves and let thoughts and ideas pour out into words and sentences. The camera has been waiting for some TLC and some clicks. The stop-watch had vanished into a dark corner of the bookshelf and that was reason enough for me to vanish from here.
Apologies to every reader who has checked on the blog and didn’t find me. What is it with routine, what is it with climbing mountains of ambitions, what is it with succeeding which brings this paralyzing wave of feeling defeat, of feeling that one is not good enough?! Is there a mechanism by which we prevent ourselves from really reaching the places we want to and can reach? A mechanism which is honed and polished by social conditioning, by well-meaning cautionary remarks, by that insistent voice which keeps saying that we are not good enough?!
On one side, I am featured as a strong, successful woman..On another side, I have people appreciating and admiring my crafty creations…On yet another side, there are loved ones and admirers who keep suggesting that I should put my writing skills into a book…and then, there is this Mala, who wants to help and support women here—who wants to showcase knitting in this country of machine knits and hosiery—who has been planning to put pen on paper and write!!
Over the last two weeks, I have completed knitting this beautiful pure wool sweater for myself.
Its a lovely blend of colors and has a collar to die for. The pattern, from Purl Soho, was a treat to follow and there was nothing to do except follow the detailed instructions. And I goofed—big time!!!
After completing, blocking and admiring I wore the sweater and realized that it was big enough to cover me and a friend perched on my shoulder. The sweater would descend to my knees after a couple of washes, and the sleeves were already 6 inches longer than necessary.
I have placed my current favorite sweater on top of this giant creation to see the difference between slouchy/comfortable and huge/ugly.
Its not a nice feeling. I will now have to rip it down to 2/3rd of the original knitting and then try to salvage the project. There are a few ideas swarming in my head today. Who says that stripes should be the only feature of a striped sweater? Its my knitting canvas and I am going to paint it with some imagination and inventiveness!!
Now, its time to set up the yarn swift and begin the unraveling!
But before I do that, let me give you a sneak preview of a tiny knitting project which saved me from screaming and crying after the striped sweater fiasco.
Garter stitch knitted with a twist. I am using two separate skeins of shaded yarn, one line at a time. Its fun, its unusual and it’s a soothing balm to my traumatized knitting heart.
Now, to begin frogging/ripping/unravelling/undoing that sweater and to take some knitting/creating/reassuring breaks when the going gets too gruesome!!