side effects of the spotlight...

side effects of the spotlight...

Swati Dasgupta, a young friend of mine from the Oman days, writes her heart out in her journalism career. Success at work and a lovely family notwithstanding, Swati has been searching for avenues which give her the fulfillment of contributing and supporting a cause close to her heart. We have been in touch over the years…the old fashioned ” being in touch”–long emails full of thoughts and news, even longer silences when both of us have been busy with our lives. Achievements, doubts, attempts , joyous times–we connected over major and minor events. Our bond has grown and deepened, and its a good way to be.

2014 saw us corresponding in a different context.Swati wrote an article in BetterIndia.com and pushed me out of my little hamlet into the World Wide Net.People reached out to me, complimenting me on my life decisions…some good souls wanted to work with me…I found new friends and new knitters walked into my life. It has been a wonderful experience and I continue to be grateful for all the admiration and connection.

Somewhere deep inside me, the feeling of “much ado about nothing” kept growing.

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I had just been knitting ( my passion) and making 10 odd women knit with me. I had not given much thought to the marketing and was just thrilled to bits when people grabbed our scarves and shawls, or when orders for blankets and sweaters came along. I was, in the truest sense of the word, just bumbling around.

Daughters, well-wishers, my dear friend and manager of this website, other friends….their attempts to push me to get myself organised and work in a systematic manner, all fell by the wayside. I continued to enjoy my passion, revel in our weekly knitting sessions, work in spurts and come up with something new and unusual.

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However, when the admiration and appreciation refuses to recede…when realisation dawns that life doesn’t stop by reaching a tiny piece of paradise in the mountains….when clarity allows me to see the writing on the wall, I know that I am ready for the next step. I know that I have to live up to the values and ideals which have shaped me.

Though I continue to fritter an hour or two with Spider Solitaire ( difficult level), there is a strong attempt to get a schedule in place, and to stick to it. I am still ambivalent about exercise, but the long walks with the doggies continue… I am still prone to impulsive yarn purchase, but the drive to clear-the-stash continues… I still find it hard to say “no” to gourmet meal invitations, but dinner parties have ceased.

Its a year since Swati turned the spotlight on me. Its been a year of being appreciated. Its been a year of focussing on being worthy of being appreciated. I continue on this journey.

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I continue to learn, share and preach ( even when its not asked for!! )

 

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Ah well, the wicked bits of my mind never sleep!!

 

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